
Hey doll hey. How’s your day/night going? Great I hope. I’m not doing too good today. I’ve been having loads of panic attacks since Wednesday and have been in a constant state of anxiety. Because of this I haven’t really been wanting to go into my makeup room.
The panic that I’ve been in has been an all consuming, deep pit of blackness that feels thick and asphyxiating.
It started Wednesday night. I was just simply walking to my garage to have a cigarette and all the sudden I couldn’t breath… my heart banging almost out of my chest. It felt like the darkness around me was strangling me. I don’t remember much other than I woke up on the floor.
Since Wednesday I haven’t been able to be alone at night and I have had to have all the lights on in the house at night.
This is the thing with PTSD and past traumas… sometimes fear just bubbles up out of nowhere and consumes your very existence.
I learned that on Wednesday when I couldn’t remember what happened but woke up on the floor it’s that I hyperventilated and more than likely passed out. That’s scary to me because I was home alone….
I was able to speak with my Psychiatrist today and he did add Lorazepam to my medications to see if this can help, I’ll be starting that on Wednesday.
I’ll be back to makeup posts soon I promise, but for now I need to take a few days to just try and get my head together ❤
In the meantime…. I posted a recipe I created for Mallorca (Puerto Rican Sweet Buns)… it’s titled Taste of Home. So I was thinking… so what do you do with all that egg white left over? I mean it’s a lot…. 1 cup full of egg whites to be exact.
Well I made peppermint meringue cookies, using the recipe of Sugar Spun Run and I couldn’t be happier with how they turned out.
Because of my anxiety I didn’t photograph every step I did and I also haven’t taken a good picture of the finished cookies…. but here is a few pictures of that process….







It was fun to make and helped center my racing mind.
Well… that’s all for now dolls. I hope and pray you are in great spirits and health and that you enjoy the rest of your day/night.
Remember … Save a spoon for a bit of lipstick
XOXO, Nita
Wow those look good! I could never make anything like that. I’m sorry to hear you have panic attacks. I always had anxiety, but in the last few years I’ve began to get panic attacks too. In the middle of the night, my heart pounds and I feel like I’m dying. I just have to tell myself I’m not dying and keep my mind busy. Sometimes it takes all night. It’s very exhausting. I have a lot of stress in my life, but I’m also born with anxiety disorder too. I hope you’re doing better soon. ❤
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Sending much light and love to you💛
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Thanks
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Sending you love and light. Amazing that you did a post of your yummy treats after the rough time you had. I have heard trauma focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can help PTSD. I am on a waiting list for Summer with the center that my insurance covers. Hoping you feel better soon!!!
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Thanks doll. Ya I find that baking for some reason always seems to center my mind when it starts racing and calms my anxiety because it forces me to focus on the science of baking and not just the act of baking. Hmm CBT Ill have to check into it. Thanks for the tip and best of luck for your seasons to help you doll.
❤
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Hi Nita, I hope you get better soon from your panic attacks and anxiety.
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Thanks love
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I hope you feel better ! Your treats look amazing !
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I was feeling on tonight but my mom is a very light walker and I didn’t hear her coming around the corner in the hall and boom panic attack…. I cant wait to start the new meds
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I sometimes get scared of unexpected sounds too . Like I remember freaking out at a graduation and after hearing fire works . The fight or flight stuff can be hard to calm down.
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Sending you much love and big hugs love. I hope those attacks simmer down and leave you be 😦
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Thanks doll
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