A Million Elephants On My Back

It’s been a while. I’m trying to work through things but sometimes one’s pain (both mental and physical) does get in the way.

With that being said,  I’d like to first start this post by saying I am sorry for being away so long. I am sorry for making promises to put out better content and to add more “beauty” related content for you and than falling short of that promise.

Believe me when I say that the idea that I write about a topic that someone takes the time to read  (and occasionally comment on) it is such a humbling thing; a thing that I never take for granted and do very much appreciate you , the reader… 

And so it is time to address, what to me, feels like a million elephants on my back (yes I know the saying is  monkeys but lets face it …. with what I need to say …. to me , the weight is best related to elephants. )

I have blogged about being sad , my ever growing list of medications,  and the loneliness that one with fibromyalgia goes through. What I haven’t spoken about openly is my struggle with clinical depression, my new journey with bipolar-ism, and how it feels to be trapped on the outside of a snow globe with the whole world on the inside. 

I had many issues (who doesn’t right?)

I had a bad thing happen to me , which changed me forever… the strain of this cause me to have PTSD , anxiety disorder and panic disorder… this didn’t happen over night, these symptoms piled on top of each other and when my best friend committed suicide ( 4 years ago) the strain of that cause my brain to snap further … enter the wonderful world of living with clinical depression and bipolar-ism.

this post is already longer than I had intended – this was intended to be just a catch up post – in my next few posts I’ll go into more detail of what life is like with each of these symptoms….

Thanks for peeking in on this spoonie’s makeup bag and until next time, remember …. always save a spoon for a bit of lip gloss.